i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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