i think my mom watched the whole time
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
