Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
