Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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