At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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