yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
