I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
