have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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