"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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