my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
