i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
