Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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