I love black thongs
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just high enough for therapy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
