Small penises have feelings too.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
this is an emotional support booty call
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
