i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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