Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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