You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
