If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You pole danced in your parka.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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