i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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