There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
