I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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