In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize