that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
