Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
