He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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