i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
should my penis look like a turkey
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My bed smells like the plague
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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