dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
