I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
