Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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