It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
