I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
