I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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