I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
