I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize