I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
