Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Sober January is a disaster.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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