New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
