none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Fuck appropriateness.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
