oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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