A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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