even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
