Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
