I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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