She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
