..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
