He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
