Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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