There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
