Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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