How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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