My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
