the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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