is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
