i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
