she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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