guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
