Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Randomize
