The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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