is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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