I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
