I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
