there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
