I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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